Look to the hills with mountians in the way

There is a song we sing at “The Star” that says, “I’ve been thru A LOT…I’ve had to press my way thru…But I’m going with Jesus all the way.”….Love the song…Definitely gets ya rockin….But today…..my spirit needed CHU’CH the old time way…..yes, I’ve been thru a lot and going thru a lot but in times like these, I need a SAVIOR!!...In times like these…I need an anchor…..I’ve got to be sure…Be very sure….My anchor holds and grips the solid…solid rock…This rock is JESUS….Yes, He’s the one…This rock is Jesus, the only one. Be very sure, be very sure. Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock!

I need Thee, O I need Thee
Every hour I need Thee
O bless me now, my Savior
I come to Thee

Pass me not, O gentle Savior,
Hear my humble cry;
While on others Thou art calling,
Do not pass me by.
Savior, Savior,
Hear my humble cry,
While on others Thou are calling,
Do not pass me by.

I Don't Know About Tomorrow
I Just Live From Day To Day
And I Don't Borrow From Its Sunshine
For Its Sky's May Turn To Gray
And I Don't Worry About My Future
For I Know What Jesus Said
And Today He Walks Beside Me
For He Knows What Lies Ahead
Many Things About Tomorrow
I Don't Seem To Under Understand
But I, I Know,
Who Holds Tomorrow
And I, I Know
Who Holds
Who Holds My Hand

Amazing grace shall always be my song of praise,
for it was grace that brought my liberty;
I do not know just why He came to love me so,
He looked beyond my fault and saw my need.

Chorus
I shall forever life mine eyes to Calvary,
to view the cross where Jesus died for me,
how marvelous the grace that caught my falling soul;
He looked beyond my fault and saw my need.

Honey's......This is my very first post and guess what?!?...You have been warned :-). I am subject to ramble today because my heart is doing the absolute most. Enjoy

So as the Christmas season is like literally right here right now, I am struggling emotionally.  For the past year and a half, my life seems to have belly-flopped into the abyss.  As much as I like to pray....TRY to pray, I can't help but feel as if I am stranded in the middle of the ocean with no means of communicating to the outside world.....no food.....surrounded by sharks.....no oars.....hole in the boat....sinking slow!! Which is worse....to sink slow knowing what the inevitable is going to be and fighting it or sinking fast to get it over with....smh.....Both a grim situation. My money is obsolete, my bills are struggling, food is scarce, we don't have a christmas tree much less any gifts to go underneath. Ha Ha Ha..Merry Christmas~Ba Humbug

Now this is somewhat of a first  for me.....I would be lying if I said I have always lived right but in the grand scheme of things, I never had long term struggles like I do now. I have always been a helpful person always making attempts to help those around me.....I am a quiet person so unless you live in my house (and really not even then), you wouldn't know what I was in to unless I told you......I have given my last many many times and not because I was looking for accolades....But because it felt right......I never worried about my health, my finances, my children, my job, my bills, my very livelihood like I do today.  Yes, I know I know...."trouble don't last always"....."weeping may endure for a night but joy will come in the morning"....."this is only a test"..etc etc.....I know them all and have had my fair share in saying them.  Now that I am in the midst of, I don't want to hear that....lol.....honesty is the best policy right?!? :-/

I have stepped out of my comfort zone and shared my struggles with a few people and they did just want I didn't want....they told me, "things will get better", walked away and I haven't talked with them since. OKAY..so much for that. Back to my prayer closet I go!

Truth is, I'm praying and praying and praying......Of course I am asking God to deliver me because who wants to stay stranded right?!?......But as the days, weeks and months go by, I am getting weaker and weaker and more weary. I keep saying, "Lord, I know you are there....I know you have a plan" but my heart is saying, "I HOPE you are there and I HOPE you have a plan" <----Is that real faith??

As I read the book of Lamentations 1st and 2nd chapters, I couldn't  help but think, Lord, is THIS where I am with you?!? Turned away...left comfortless.....friends now enemies......No....There is hope. For God forgives and has forgiven me.  No matter the reason of my circumstance, God will make himself known at the right moment, at the right time.

Lamentations 3 New Living Translation Hope in the Lord’s Faithfulness 1I am the one who has seen the afflictions that come from the rod of the Lord’s anger. 2He has led me into darkness, shutting out all light. 3He has turned his hand against me again and again, all day long. 4He has made my skin and flesh grow old. He has broken my bones. 5He has besieged and surrounded me with anguish and distress. 6He has buried me in a dark place, like those long dead. 7He has walled me in, and I cannot escape. He has bound me in heavy chains. 8And though I cry and shout, he has shut out my prayers. 9He has blocked my way with a high stone wall; he has made my road crooked. 10He has hidden like a bear or a lion, waiting to attack me. 11He has dragged me off the path and torn me in pieces, leaving me helpless and devastated. 12He has drawn his bow and made me the target for his arrows. 13He shot his arrows deep into my heart. 14My own people laugh at me. All day long they sing their mocking songs. 15He has filled me with bitterness and given me a bitter cup of sorrow to drink. 16He has made me chew on gravel. He has rolled me in the dust. 17Peace has been stripped away, and I have forgotten what prosperity is. 18I cry out, “My splendor is gone! Everything I had hoped for from the Lord is lost!” 19The thought of my suffering and homelessness is bitter beyond words.a 20I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. 21Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: 22The faithful love of the Lord never ends!b His mercies never cease. 23Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. 24I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!” 25The Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him. 26So it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the Lord. 27And it is good for people to submit at an early age to the yoke of his discipline: I will wait patiently for his grace. :-)